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Random Jokes

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Offline thegrey

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #300 on: 12:46 am Wednesday, August 12, 2015
 :yay: :whoosh2: I know right? Thank you! Mission accomplished!

Offline AlundraTopic starter

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #301 on: 12:11 am Monday, August 24, 2015
'Is your daddy home?' he asked. ' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?' The child whispered, ' No .'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' 'Yes'
'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child. 'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the #phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
' A helicopter ' answered the whispering #voice..
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter '
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the #boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
'ME.'

!LMAO! <>

Offline WikkidGrin

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #302 on: 9:42 am Monday, August 24, 2015
PMSL

Offline AlundraTopic starter

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #303 on: 11:09 am Monday, August 24, 2015
I feel like we're missing a Hobo to say it was me XD.

Offline WikkidGrin

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #304 on: 11:49 am Monday, August 24, 2015
I feel like we're missing a Hobo to say it was me XD.
Yes I need an accomplice

Offline AlundraTopic starter

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #305 on: 12:45 pm Monday, August 24, 2015
Drag him back kicking and screaming! Tape his box closed until he gets here, I'll close the doors and windows!

Offline truespock

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Re: Random Jokes
Reply #306 on: 8:42 am Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Artie and Sherm were sitting around the house with beers in their hands when Sherm suddenly announced, "Artie, I'd like for you to kill my wife."

Not visibly distressed at all, Artie responded, "How much will you give me to do it?"

Face expressionless, Sherm replied, I can only afford $5, man.", to which Artie readily agreed.

The following day, Artie tracked down Shem's wife at the Walmart and, not having thought to bring a weapon with him, proceeded to strangle her to death on the spot.  Just as she gasped her last breath, another woman came around the corner and Artie promptly strangled her as well to avoid having a witness.

That evening, the newspaper headlines read, "Artie chokes two for $5 at Walmart!"

 

anything