Jades-World

I love being me, well on most days. Everyone constantly tells me I helped them through something or I made their day or set a smile upon their face. I feel it's my duty. If your hurt, crying, sad, or any other negative feeling, I feel it's my job to fix it.

Looking back, I have heaps of funny memories. I always think about them and laugh, which makes people think I'm crazy because I do it at random times! I don't mind, I like being crazy or eccentric. It's who I am, and I love it.

Latest at the top.

"What are you reading?" dad asked as he walked into my room, I was lying on the bed reading a thick book.
"huh?"-I said turning away from the book but clearly not wanting to.
"I said what are you reading?"-Dad repeated sitting down on my bed.
"Oh." I twig and grin replying, "the dictionary"
"Oh yeah right"-dads looking worried. I pull it up and show him the cover. "What are you reading that for?!"
"Uhh dad it's fun..." He looks very scared at this point so I add "And all the words that pop into my head I can see what they mean and work out why they popped into my head...And use better comebacks"
"Whoa okay then" dad said with a nervous laugh and then said goodnight.

I was riding the bus this morning (LIKE EVERY MORNING), and we were messing around with the bus driver, it was raining. There was flashing lights ahead signaling an accident, and one boy called out "5 points if you hit the traffic man!" and she laughed, Then some other kid further back called out "25 if you hit the car with red lights!" the whole bus roared with laughter, it was funny.

I was riding the bus home from school and my friend Amy *fake name* was giving me a lecture on 'cussing'...She reasoned that "Smart people use BIG words, Idiots use small words" and I threw my right arm up pointing towards the roof and said "With BIG meanings!!" the bus seemed to like that one lol.

"Guess what I did Grumpy!" I asked my grandpa on the phone.
"You ran down the street naked" he replied in his standard monotonous voice.
"Oh how'd you know?!" I asked him giggling.
He sighs heavily, "It was on the news" he replied in the same tone. It was so unexpected I burst out laughing!!

"HEY!! My cup appeared next to me!!"- I exclaimed at the 'dinner table' (we have a breakfast table too!!)
"......"-Mum looking at me puzzled "Oh wait" I said my hopes shattered "I brought it over here"

"GRRRRRR! IF THIS DOESNT WORK IM GUNNA SPIT THE DUMMY!" my mother yelled about something.
"Arent you to old for dummy's now?!" I replied casually walking past and grinning like some madwoman.
"NO" she said firmly, frowning at me. I walked off giggling madly.

I had a ball at the wassenfest (pronounced vassen-fest)! Me and Walter went with Lauren and Robert and Yasmin (she's German learning English, and she's like 30 or so. She baby sits the kids when mum asks her too.like once a week or something) to the fest and had a BALL!!!! It was heaps of fun! Me and Yasmin went on the Haunted house ride, and we went into the dark and this thing light up (it didn't LOOK scary...) and then it squirted us with water! We screamed and grabbed each others arms! Then it went out into the open, and she yelled out "Hello Daddy! What's goin on?!" and I couldn't stop laughing, the way she said it was funny, but she YELLED it out too!! Then we went into the dark again, and there's this jungle scene and I said "gee that swinging gorillas big..." and it GRABBED OUR LEGS!!!!! Boy did we scream!! Then we went on the Farris wheel, and it was really big.And Yasmin yelled out twice from the top "hello people! What's goin on?!" and I was laughing so hard (I think this is becoming a habit-laughing on Farris wheels!), I couldn't breath. Then me and Yasmin went on the LOG RIDE!!! I tell you, I'm TERRIFIED of roller coasters, and I said to Yasmin on the Farris wheel "your coming with me on that ride!" she agreed without seeing and said she wants to be surprised!! Boy did I surprise her!! Then we got to the ticket booth and brought our tickets, and got in the log (I made her go in the front hee hee hee!) and I said "oh my god what have you AGREED TO?!" she said "I know I know!" and then it launched and I'm like "oh my god! Oh no! Its gunna go fast! And we are so gunna get wet!" and then we screamed on the way down a small waterfall. And then I saw the rest of the track and screamed "YASMIN! IT GETS BIGGER!! WHAT DID I MAKE YOU AGREE TO?!" and then we went up..and up...and UP..and then we came down at 5000 km an hour on a log...And boy did we scream!! We went splashing into the water at the bottom and then went past Walter and i'm screaming out "wwwwwwwooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Yeah! Again! Again! Wwwwwwwwooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Yasmins like "what's goin on daddy?!" and then we had to get off. dam! But before we did it showed a pic of us coming down the slide thing, and Yasmin looked terrified, and I was like GRINNING!! And screaming at the same time!! It was funny; I wish they gave the pic to you!! Then I was laughing so hard I couldn't walk because of it, and Walter said "I thought you wanted slow baby rides?!" and i'm like "AGAIN! COME ON WALTER GO ON IT WITH ME!!!" and he chickened out.dam!! Then me and Yasmin went on the spinning swings.she made me go on the outside!! I'm sure it was payback for making her go on the front of the log!! (She was soaked and I was like dry!!) And we got lifted up, and I freaked out "oh my god!!! NO! NO! oh my god yas..its gunna go ffffffffaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssttttttttttttt!!!!!!" when I said fast it started swinging us around. I was on the outside so I was higher!! We both screamed our heads off though! I screamed louder off course, but Yasmin screamed longer! It was so much fun! And there was a big crowd around the swing ride, just watching us screaming our heads off!! Then we got stopped and Yasmin screaming out "Once more! One more time! Again!" then she repeated it in German, and they said something over the speaker, and we were spinning again, screaming and laughing!! Then when we got off we couldn't walk straight through our laughter! So we got some fairy floss and ice cream and headed home!
Me and Yasmin TRIED to plot to kidnap mum and chain her to rides with us, but she's terrified of heights, and claustrophobic, so she chickened out! It was a GREAT day! I know I'm a coward, but I have fun being me!

An email sent to friends back in aus
Subject: 26 HOURS OF TRAVEL AND A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE!!
I was almost killed by our luggage(!) and an escalator(!), Walter saved me. Praise the lord! That was the scariest thing ever! The luggage thing break got stuck, and it wouldn't go onto the floor, and it fell back and hit me (estimated [by me] 35 kg, we got it weighed) and kept falling on me halfway down the bloody escalator. I screamed out "Walter! Walter help! Tis fallin on me! I told you it would!" I thought I was gunna die, IT WAS SCAREY, COZ I ALMOST FELL BACKWARDS DOWN THE STAIRS WITH THE BLOODY TROLLEY! Stop laughing! Tisnt funny!
I recall saying "that's not right! I'm goin in the lift!" but no! "There's a sign there, you will be fine" BUT!! "No it's suicidal, and I have the feeling I'm either goin to die, or almost die, and I don't want it to hurt if it's true"
Who the hell invented those trolleys?! There lethal, people should use them in wars I tell ya! Their evil, there just plotting there next victims death.
Anyway if that wasn't bad enough, I lost my Bloody camera bag too! $350 worth, AND ME GOOD PHOTOS OF RHIANNA! AND SHE WAS SMILIN TOO! Gees! The bloody flight attendant put it somewhere else on the plane coz our over head locker was full, I watched him put it in one of them and it was gone! We searched the whole plane!!! Gee...
Anyway, we got back home, and the grass literally is greener here, tis funny actually.
And the house has changed so much since last time, and I have a TV that picks up CABLE!! Hee hee hee, so long old bung thing back in Aus that only picks up channel 10 and when it wants to! Hee hee hee! OH!! And we flew ova Afghanistan, and Pakistan or something like that, and it was fun, except I fell asleep and dribbled on the person next to me...I don't normally dribble, but sitting upright, ETC must have had a set back. The funny thing was, they didn't notice, and it dried on them lol. I LOVE QUANTAS!!! That's the best quality ever!!
Lauren and Robert and adorable as usual.
Lol
Bye all! I have to get offline now, talk to ya's all soon!

"Mum...If our brains look like our intestines does that mean we're all shit heads?"-me
"Oh boy"-mum

"Open the door please!"
"Just push it its open...Don't you have doors in Australia?"-Walter
"No, not like these ones"-Mum

Lauren and Walter were upstairs asleep, and Robert started stomping up them as loudly as he could, Mum ran after him saying just above a whisper "No! No! No! little man! Daddy and Lauren are asleep!" and Robert stopped halfway up the stairs, collapsed dramatically, put his head in his hands and yelled out as loud as he could "NO! NO! NO! DADDY!!" (he seems to call everyone "Daddy", and "Nanny" these days)...it was so funny!

Okay, in Australia there's things called supermarkets, ("duh jade there everywere!"-mum.."keep reading!"-me) they have cameras that film the outside of the shop through the door. One day I was bored and tried to entertain one of my friends. I bounced past the door like a zombie with my arms outstretched, then turned and put my arms straight up and changed the look on my face, bounced past again this time saying "BRAINS!!" then I turned around and changed again this time saying "I need brains! brains! brains! brains!" some old lady looked at me and said she thought I did too, then I continued my act for another 10 or so times. My friend couldn't walk through laughter. I would LOVE to be a security guard for that shop, and to have been watching it, coz that would be halarious to watch.

I was teaching my best friend Rhianna how to whistle. She was having trouble and was getting fed up, and I was making matters worse by showing off. Finally she yelled out "HOW HARD DO I BLOODY BLOW?!" I yelled back (don't ask me why I yelled) "HARDER...AND FASTER!" and her mum heard us and came racing to the window (we heard a chair fly backwards and running feet over our music), we realised what she must have been thinking, and couldn't stop laughing long enough to whistle anymore.

"Me Jimmy! Me love Ibi. Jade love Ibi. Ibi love Jade. Jade fall from sky. Jade go 'Catch me Ibi! Catch me!' Ibi go 'I catch you!' Jade fall on Ibi. Ibi goes splat on ground."-Casey (bro)
"That's so mean...And yet so funny! I gotta get you recordin that voice! I'm gunna tell him you said that!"-me
"Ibi love me! He lie to you!"-Casey
"He's not gay..."-me
"Jimmy a girl"-Casey
I was laughing too hard at this point to say anything back, the thought of my bro being a girl was hilarious. When he records that voice and says this again I'll put it up here!

I was in class and I didnt know my brick could vibrate. I had put it on silent, and that means it vibrates. It was the start of S.O.S.E, and the teacher said "Our first topic this year is Occupational health and safety" and I, of all times got a text message! It vibrated and I jumped up yelling "AHH!", and throwing my chair backwards by accident grabbing hold of my hip pocket. My teacher said "Do you have a problem with health and safety Jade?" I said no going red, and someone else said "Why did you scream then?" and I said "Dont worry" and everyone looked at me like I was mad for the rest of the class (I WAS mad!), but still.

"She's a guy! I love him, and he's a girl for the last time!"
"So your a lesbian?"-friend
"Yes! Oh, crap I mean no! I'm not! I go for guys! Why do I have to trip over myself so often?!"
"Well-"-friend
"Don't you dare answer that! And stop confusing me, I can do that without your help."

It was 11pm at night, Everyone was in bed and I was CONVINCED my phone wasnt working, so I decided to check my credit to see if I could make a call. I was standing at my window watching Nudge patrol my garden, and I expected to hear "Hello, welcome to Optus Pre-paid Mobile. Please select an option"
so I wasnt paying attention, I heard the beep noise my brick makes to say its connected and a loud enthusiastic voice came on saying "HEY THERE! ITS JACKIE-O!" and I screamed and droped the phone almost into my fishtank.
Then I realised and started laughing, but I was still shaken, I went to school the next morning, and told beck to do the same thing and she was there not paying attention and she jumped and almost dropped the phone! I said "ha ha I told you phones are scary!!" and she said "f**k man! that scared the s**t outta me!" and I couldnt stop laughing. Poor girl, she had me in hysterics.

I walked into the lounge room. My family was there watching TV. I fell over myself and landed on my bum and jumped up and said without thinking "That was FUN! I wanna fall over again!" ...they started laughing then I realised what I said.

Now, I had been going to this school for about 3 years...and I STILL did this!!
I was trying to leave the front office, and I walked to the door grabbed the handle (and turned it) and walked straight into the door-I used do that to my bedroom door, poor thing- and when it wouldnt open and I bounced back, I started pushing the door, trying to open it, then I started wacking it, finally I said to one of the office ladys, "Umm..I'm locked in, the door wont open" And demonstrated, they laughed and said "PULL Jade!! PULL!" and I looked back to the door and a "push" sign was there...I'd seen it before..But I was reading it backwards-it was on the other side! The funny thing is I went thro that door atleast once a week!